Chris Griffin: A Life
by Megan Hermione Lovegood
Summary: The world seen through the eyes of Chris Griffin as he struggles with the problems of puberty, girls, friends, family and generally growing up. Chris/OC. Is not canon to The Unknown Griffin.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is just something I made up when I was bored. It's not supposed to be good or bad, just an idea that popped into my head. Also, it's not canon to my other Family Guy fanfiction, The Unknown Griffin, so don't expect to see Cindy, Britney or Jessica here. Enjoy this...thing.**

Hello. You may have heard about me. My name is Chris Griffin, and not much is known about me. I'm mainly considered a "space occupier", among other things, but that's only because everyone's too busy paying attention to either Brian, Stewie or Peter. There's a lot more to me than what is seen on the surface.

As you may already know, I love to paint. It's my passion, really, art is. I nearly became the famous artist 'Christobel', but that bastard Antonio Monatti tried to turn me into something I'm not, and even worse, tried to separate me from my family. Sure, my dad may be a fat, inconsiderate retard, my mother a slutty, mean, self - absorbed bitch, my sister a suicidal social outcast and my brother a homosexual megalomaniac, but when it comes down to it, they're my family, and I love them.

You may think I have little or no friends. This is false. I have good friends - Matty, TJ and Clio are my "gang". Matty is a fellow artist who wants to animate for Pixar one day, TJ, at six foot four, could be the school's basketball star if he wasn't so clumsy, and Clio is an aspiring actress who is quite gothic and sometimes downright terrifying. Still, you gotta love her. The rest of the school has given us the fond nickname of "The Losers". Stupid bastards.

I'm not much to look at - even I have to admit that, at two hundred and thirteen pounds, I'm heavier than the average fourteen-year-old. I have to wear a hat all the time to hide my increasingly bad dandruff, and I'm not exactly what you would call "handsome" either. In fact, I actually wonder why everyone picks on Meg for being "ugly" and "fat", when she's probably the most attractive out of us three Griffin children.

My grades have always been bad - the highest I ever got was a C- in English - but recently, they've been slipping down to a F average. Mom says that if my grades don't improve soon, I'll be grounded for a month. I told her that that was a fucked - up thing to do; I mean, it's not my fault I'm an idiot! But all she did was moan some more in her irritatingly nasal voice while I pretended to pay attention. God, she's a pain in the ass. And it's obvious that she never actually wanted any of us - she's openly, even _proudly_ admitted that Meg was the result of failed birth control, and me a broken condom. Sometimes I wonder if she even cares about us at all.

This is the story of me, Christopher Cross Griffin, middle child, artist, high school student. The story of me struggling with girls, friendship, family, adolescence, and growing up. The story of a seemingly unimportant person having his voice heard. Not Brian, not Stewie - _me._ So if that doesn't float your boat, I'd advise you to leave now.

My name is Chris, and this is my life.


	2. Chapter 2

I climbed out of bed, yawning. It was Monday - _brilliant._ Everybody's _favourite_ day, I _don't _ think. At least I would be able to see Clio and her sister, my crush Jennifer again - they had been on vacation in Barbados for two months now. For Clio, that probably would have been Hell. Her parents probably forced her to go outside and socialise, and Clio would rather blow her own brains out than do that - though I think every fourteen year old girl these days thinks that way.

In school, Clio, TJ, Matty, Jennifer and I were all having lunch. Clio, who generally stays away from her younger sister, looked very disgruntled to have her sitting with us. I guess I can see why. The two sisters are polar opposites - Clio is very tall, very thin and very pale, with a face full of piercings-on her eyebrow, tongue, lip, nose, five in each ear and several in places she doesn't really display to the general public, if you know what I mean. She has really huge, starey black eyes and long black hair with purple, pink and electric blue streaks in it. You'd think she's a really creepy, scary goth, and you'd be right, too, but she's really funny, smart and kind, and with a heart of gold.

Jennifer, on the other hand, is short and cute, with freckles, big brown eyes and curly brown hair. She usually wears things in purple, blue and pink with floaty skirts covered in flowers. She is quite bubbly and giggly, and she's really fun and outgoing with a really kind heart. I've had a huge crush on her for about five years now, but she's noticed nothing.

Matty suddenly pointed over at something over on the other side of the cafeteria. "Hey, Chris, isn't that Meg?"

I looked over and saw Meg sitting by herself on the floor by the trash cans. Connie D'Amico, who I am ashamed to say is my ex-girlfriend, and her clique strutted over to her. Connie lifted her lunch tray, which had a half-empty carton of milk and chicken bones all over it, and accidentally-on-purpose tipped it onto Meg's head instead of into the trash.

_"Oops!"_ Connie cackled sarcastically, while her friends laughed and took pictures of poor Meg with milk all over her head and chicken grease and sauce all down her front. _"So _sorry, Meg!"

Clio got to her feet, purple in the face. She's quite close with Meg, and hates seeing her bullied, especially by slime like Connie, who has bullied her in the past. Somehow, I found myself getting up and striding after her.

"What the _fuck _is your problem, D'Amico?!" Clio screeched when we reached the skanky cheerleader. "Why do you _always_ pick on Meg? She's ten times the person you are!"

"Yeah!" I agreed, to Connie's surprise. I usually keep my head down and stay quiet in situations like this. "You're just an insecure, anorexic whore who's picking on Meg to make yourself feel better about what a slutty bitch you are! I _saw_ you giving Principal Davis a handjob back in Junior High, so don't even _attempt_ to lie!"

Connie stared at me for a long moment, then Clio started to chant "Slut! Slut! Slut! Slut!" over and over again, then Matty, TJ, Jennifer and Meg started, then the rest of the cafeteria, even the teachers, and Connie's supposed "friends".

Connie looked around the room, and, finding that nobody was on her side, burst into tears and fled the room. As she did, we stopped chanting and cheered, the popular clique immediately picking Meg up off the ground, apologising, and rushed her over to their table. I watched this, grinning, and was for once glad that it was Monday.


End file.
